My eyes are burning. I'm developing a head ache. It's past midnight and I should go to bed. 12:09 a.m. to be exact. Josh is waking up in 3 1/2 hours to go to work.
What am I still doing up you ask? I'm asking myself the same question.
I've been up since 5:30 a.m. when the kids decided to wake up and demand cereal well before the sun even wakes up. I'm tired, can't think anymore and am drained.
Yet somehow, in this early morning hour, I find peace.
It's quiet.
No one's begging me to feed them, change them, help with homework, fold another load of wash, empty the (full again) dishwasher, find a missing glove or hat, clean up that daily spilled cup of water, wipe a nose, bring in firewood, workout, sweep the floor, vacuum the floor again so the baby won't put stray pieces of paper in her mouth, read a book about Cinderella to my daughter, listen to present ideas for Christmas, or fill a sippy cup with milk.
Call me selfish, but I like this quiet time and find this is the only time---as dog tired as I am at the moment--I can find peace and quiet.
My dear Mom got into a pattern when I was younger of waking up in the middle of the night and working on the computer or finishing chores she didn't complete that day. I remember Mom saying often that this was the only time she could find peace and quiet. I balked at her at that time thinking "Who the heck would sacrifice sleep in order to have a little quiet time in the middle of the night?" As a mother of 4 young children, I understand that now.
I love love love my children to death, but lately, it's been escalating slowly into total chaos. My second youngest is 2 1/2 and in full blown terrible two's. Now, this is my third child going through sporadic temper tantrums and constant whining so this isn't a complete shock to me that at this age, kids seem to know better than their parents, but after a few months straight of this, it gets old and strikes hard at my last nerve. I feel at times he doesn't love me and purposely tries to be naughty. Maybe he's acting out because of the baby? Maybe he just wants to be independent as much as a 2 year old can be? Maybe he wants a reaction out of me? Who knows...
All's I know is I'm ragged and tired. I love my son so much and feel pity that he just thinks he's such a "big boy" --as he says--yet still wears diapers and there is so little he can truly do independent from me.
I find that if I ask his help in daily cleaning tasks, his attitude seems to improve temporarily. This is usually how it goes: I will start working in the kitchen (let's say washing dishes) so he will drag over a stool from the kitchen table to the counter so he can see what I'm doing. He will try to help by putting his whole sleeve in the dirty soapy water and turn on the spray hose and get the whole counter wet (phone chargers included) which results in me getting frustrated because it just made more work for me to clean up.
I loose my temper too much and worry too much about the mess. How can I not? My kids are 6, 3, 2, and 6 months. My husband is so tired from getting up so early for work that cleaning is the last thing he wants to do when he gets home. Who else will help? My two oldest are pretty good cleaners if I nag and stay on their backs constantly, which gets old as well.
You know what though, someday my kids will be older and I will wish only for them to be babies again as they are now. I will miss their sweet little voices asking me to help put their socks on for the hundredth time. I will miss the oddly shaped chocolate chip cookies they helped me bake because they don't know the difference between teaspoons and tablespoons. I will miss their dependence on me to feed them, bathe them, and clothe them. I will miss their stick figure drawings of me baking apple pie (as my oldest did today in school for me). I will miss their innocent laughter. I will miss their silly arguments over who's Mom's favorite. I will miss their imperfect prayers. I will miss the messy house and the constant clutter and chaos.
I have to remind myself often of these things that are so precious NOW. I can't keep wishing for them to be older and more responsible because with that comes distance and independence from me. I'm not saying I will be losing them forever...they just grow up and don't need their Mommy like they do now.
I pray that God can remind me everyday of these precious gifts he has blessed me with and to cherish these times for what they are....chaos, fighting, messy house and all.
Tomorrow will come and be a better day than today. The house will be messy, the dishes will pile up again, someone will spill spaghetti on their pants and the laundry will accumulate fast but you know what? I will be grateful that I even have a family to assist and love.
Now will I be happy about changing a poopy diaper for the millionth time.....?
Some things, I will definitely NOT miss. :)
What am I still doing up you ask? I'm asking myself the same question.
I've been up since 5:30 a.m. when the kids decided to wake up and demand cereal well before the sun even wakes up. I'm tired, can't think anymore and am drained.
Yet somehow, in this early morning hour, I find peace.
It's quiet.
No one's begging me to feed them, change them, help with homework, fold another load of wash, empty the (full again) dishwasher, find a missing glove or hat, clean up that daily spilled cup of water, wipe a nose, bring in firewood, workout, sweep the floor, vacuum the floor again so the baby won't put stray pieces of paper in her mouth, read a book about Cinderella to my daughter, listen to present ideas for Christmas, or fill a sippy cup with milk.
Call me selfish, but I like this quiet time and find this is the only time---as dog tired as I am at the moment--I can find peace and quiet.
My dear Mom got into a pattern when I was younger of waking up in the middle of the night and working on the computer or finishing chores she didn't complete that day. I remember Mom saying often that this was the only time she could find peace and quiet. I balked at her at that time thinking "Who the heck would sacrifice sleep in order to have a little quiet time in the middle of the night?" As a mother of 4 young children, I understand that now.
I love love love my children to death, but lately, it's been escalating slowly into total chaos. My second youngest is 2 1/2 and in full blown terrible two's. Now, this is my third child going through sporadic temper tantrums and constant whining so this isn't a complete shock to me that at this age, kids seem to know better than their parents, but after a few months straight of this, it gets old and strikes hard at my last nerve. I feel at times he doesn't love me and purposely tries to be naughty. Maybe he's acting out because of the baby? Maybe he just wants to be independent as much as a 2 year old can be? Maybe he wants a reaction out of me? Who knows...
All's I know is I'm ragged and tired. I love my son so much and feel pity that he just thinks he's such a "big boy" --as he says--yet still wears diapers and there is so little he can truly do independent from me.
I find that if I ask his help in daily cleaning tasks, his attitude seems to improve temporarily. This is usually how it goes: I will start working in the kitchen (let's say washing dishes) so he will drag over a stool from the kitchen table to the counter so he can see what I'm doing. He will try to help by putting his whole sleeve in the dirty soapy water and turn on the spray hose and get the whole counter wet (phone chargers included) which results in me getting frustrated because it just made more work for me to clean up.
I loose my temper too much and worry too much about the mess. How can I not? My kids are 6, 3, 2, and 6 months. My husband is so tired from getting up so early for work that cleaning is the last thing he wants to do when he gets home. Who else will help? My two oldest are pretty good cleaners if I nag and stay on their backs constantly, which gets old as well.
You know what though, someday my kids will be older and I will wish only for them to be babies again as they are now. I will miss their sweet little voices asking me to help put their socks on for the hundredth time. I will miss the oddly shaped chocolate chip cookies they helped me bake because they don't know the difference between teaspoons and tablespoons. I will miss their dependence on me to feed them, bathe them, and clothe them. I will miss their stick figure drawings of me baking apple pie (as my oldest did today in school for me). I will miss their innocent laughter. I will miss their silly arguments over who's Mom's favorite. I will miss their imperfect prayers. I will miss the messy house and the constant clutter and chaos.
I have to remind myself often of these things that are so precious NOW. I can't keep wishing for them to be older and more responsible because with that comes distance and independence from me. I'm not saying I will be losing them forever...they just grow up and don't need their Mommy like they do now.
I pray that God can remind me everyday of these precious gifts he has blessed me with and to cherish these times for what they are....chaos, fighting, messy house and all.
Tomorrow will come and be a better day than today. The house will be messy, the dishes will pile up again, someone will spill spaghetti on their pants and the laundry will accumulate fast but you know what? I will be grateful that I even have a family to assist and love.
Now will I be happy about changing a poopy diaper for the millionth time.....?
Some things, I will definitely NOT miss. :)